Happy Eid Al-Fitr 1432 H : “My apology for you all..”


Selamat datang di Hari Raya Idul Fitri 1432 H. Momen spesial dimana semua umat muslim di dunia merayakan kemenangan setelah selama bulan ramadhan melaksanakan ibadah puasa, menahan segala hawa nafsu dan kini saatnya terlahir kembali dalam keadaan suci dan saling memaafkan satu sama lain.

Lebaran tahun ini memang sedikit spesial, karena-alhamdulilah-gua bisa ngerayain bareng keluarga di Indonesia setelah tahun lalu cuman bisa gigit jari mandangin takbir lewat youtube di Amerika.

Tapi bukan itu alasan gue nge-post blog kali ini. Karena selain momennya emang spesial, gua lagi-lagi baru dapet “inspirasi” (baca: instropeksi diri) dari perjalanan  mudik ama bokap barusan.

Setelah sekian lama bapak-anak itu gak ngobrol-ngobrol, akhirnya mereka (gua ama bokap) diskusi tentang banyak hal. Tentang manusia, kehidupan, dan kematian. Karena kebetulan tadi habis nyekar ke makam eyang di Mojokerto.

Meski ramadhan tahun ini gua masih belum bisa maksimal jalanin serangkaian ibadah puasa, tarawih, tadarus, dll (dan sempet nyesel juga sih. At least i did better than while i was in the US), tiba-tiba hari ini-mulai sholat Eid nyampe perjalanan mudik-batin gua berdebat tentang “apology”. Hukum maaf memaafkan diantara manusia. Tiba-tiba aja kepikiran : “Gue gak pengen mati dulu kalo masih ada orang lain yang masih belum maafin kesalahan gue”. Kan biar tentrem gitu ntar di akhirat.. -__-

Gue sadar, terkadang sebagai manusia kita susah banget buat minta maaf sama orang lain (entah karena gengsi atau apaan). Atau sebaliknya, begitu susahnya kita memaafkan kesalahan orang lain. Karena setiap kesalahan orang lain yang melekat di hati kita, gak gampang buat kita untuk ngelupainnya.

Jujur, kalo gue sendiri orangnya lebih suka memaafkan dan ngelupain dosa orang-orang yang pernah nyakitin hati gua, meskipun mungkin hal itu bikin gue terkadang susah sadar buat minta maaf ke orang lain.

Gue sadar, There is nobody perfect. Setiap orang pasti pernah melakukan kesalahan. Dan setelah gua flashback menuju kejadian-kejadian masa lalu: gue tersentak. Ternyata begitu banyak orang yang udah gue sakitin baik secara lahir maupun batin, sengaja atau gak sengaja. Karena sadar atau nggak, 18 tahun hidup di dunia ini gua ketemu dan kenal ama begitu banyak orang bahkan dari berbagai belahan dunia.

Untuk itu, di kesempatan yang baik ini, buat keluarga besar gua, (mama,papa,adek,kakak,om,tante,sepupu,kakek,nenek) temen-temen sekolah, temen-temen sepermainan, sahabat, pacar, TTM (Teman Tapi Mesra), guru di sekolah, guru ngaji, kakak asuh, temen organisasi, temen-temen konferensi di seluruh Indonesia dan dunia, temen-temen sekolah di Amerika, guru dan keluarga angkat di Amerika, temen-temen traveling di seluruh dunia, temen-temen komunitas dan para pembina, pejabat, sopir angkot, satpam, guru tatib sekolah, pak polisi dan siapapun yang pernah ketemu atau mengenal gue dimanapun kalian berada:

Saya, Hadiansyah Yanuar Rizqi Aktsar mengucapkan MOHON MAAF atas segala kesalahan dan dosa-dosa  yang pernah saya lakukan baik yang disengaja maupun yang gak disengaja. Untuk lisan yang tak terjaga, Untuk janji yang terabaikan, Untuk hati yang berprasangka, Untuk sikap yang menyakitkan, sekali lagi MOHON MAAF LAHIR DAN BATIN…

“Ketika Anda memegang kebencian terhadap yang lain, Anda terikat kepada orang atau kondisi dengan hubungan emosional yang lebih kuat dari baja. Memaafkan adalah satu-satunya cara untuk membaskan kondisi tersebut dan dapatkan kebebasan.”
Catherine Ponder

“Memaafkan tidak akan mengubah masa lalu, tetapi akan mempengaruhi masa depan.”
Paulus Boose

———————————–

Welcome to Eid Al-Fitr 1432 H. Special moments in which all Muslims around the world celebrate the ‘victory day’ after during the fasting month of Ramadan, resist its passions and it’s time to be reborn in a state of purity and forgiveness to one another.

Eid this year is a bit special, because-thank God-I could celebrate it with my family in Indonesia because last year I could only bite my fingers looking at takbeer via youtube in America.

But that’s not the reason why I write this post this time. Because besides it is a special moment, i just got “inspiration” (read: self introspection) from my trip with daddy just now.

It’s been a while we didn’t chat, we eventually discuss about many things. About man, life, and death. Anyway, we went to visit grandparent’s grave in Mojokerto.

Although Ramadan this year I still can not do the things all out, (Well, at least i did better than while i was in the U.S.), all of a sudden today started since I went to pray Eid until my trip to Mojokerto, I was arguing about the “apology” by myself. “Apology”. The law of forgiveness among people. I just thought : “I don’t wanna die before all people forgive my mistakes..”

I realized, sometimes as a human we are really hard to apologize to someone else (whether because of prestige or something). Or conversely, it is so hard to forgive the mistakes of others. Because when people’s faults inherent in our hearts, it’s not easy for us to forget it.

Honestly, I would rather forgive and forget the people’s mistakes who have offended my heart, although maybe it makes me realize sometimes it’s difficult to apologize to other people for me.

I realize, ‘There is nobody perfect. Everyone must have made a mistake. And after I got flashback to the events of the past: I gasped. Apparently so many people I have met, make them offended or hurt their feeling intentionally or accidentally. Because of conscious or not, 18 years living in this world I’ve seen and known so many people even from different parts of the world.

For that, on this auspicious occasion, for my big family, (mama, papa, adek, brother, uncle, aunt, cousin, grandfather, grandmother) my friends school, my other friends, girlfriend, teachers in schools, friends from the organization, my conference’s friends all over Indonesia and the world, my friends in America, teachers and host familiy in America, my traveling friends around the world, people of my community, officials, transportation drivers, security guards, discipline teachers at school, the police officer and everyone who ever met or known me wherever you are:

I, Hadiansyah Yanuar Rizqi Aktsar SORRY for all the mistakes that I’ve ever done either intentional or not intentional. For oral unguarded, for the missed appointment, for a prejudiced heart, for a painful attitude, once again I DO APOLOGIZE …

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”
Catherine Ponder

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”
Paul Boose

Posted on August 31, 2011, in My Life. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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